...FREEZE WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 2 AM TO 9 AM CDT FRIDAY...
* WHAT...SUB-FREEZING TEMPERATURES EXPECTED, WITH LOWS FALLING TO
BETWEEN 24 AND 29.
* WHERE...PORTIONS OF CENTRAL, EAST CENTRAL, NORTH CENTRAL AND
* WHEN...FROM 2 AM TO 9 AM CDT FRIDAY.
* IMPACTS...FROST AND FREEZE CONDITIONS WILL KILL CROPS, OTHER
SENSITIVE VEGETATION AND POSSIBLY DAMAGE UNPROTECTED OUTDOOR
* ADDITIONAL DETAILS...A LONGER PERIOD OF OVERNIGHT LOWS FALLING
BELOW FREEZING IS FORECAST FOR THE FIRST HALF OF NEXT WEEK.
PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER FORECAST UPDATES AND POSSIBLE
TAKE STEPS NOW TO PROTECT TENDER PLANTS FROM THE COLD. TO PREVENT
FREEZING AND POSSIBLE BURSTING OF OUTDOOR WATER PIPES THEY SHOULD
BE WRAPPED, DRAINED, OR ALLOWED TO DRIP SLOWLY. THOSE THAT HAVE
IN-GROUND SPRINKLER SYSTEMS SHOULD DRAIN THEM AND COVER ABOVE-
GROUND PIPES TO PROTECT THEM FROM FREEZING.
The local Illuminati group recently became upset over this writer’s hair or perhaps more specifically its length and maybe quantity. There was a proposal in absentia to take up a collection for a haircut but the motion to do so died for lack of a second.